No Bread Crust and other Poems

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No Bread Crust and other Poems

 

 Translated from Macedonian to English: Dolores Atanasova Lori

  

NO BREAD CRUST

 

When I was little I used to be a skinny child

my father would sit next to me

to make sure I would eat

two slices of bread, without the crust.

 

Time turns the tables

now I sit next to my father

to make sure he eats

two slices of bread, without the crust. 

 

 

 

IN THE END (2)

 

In the end, what remains is the husk,

an empty open shell.

In the end words abandoned him,

he would only repeat “come on” and “give it here”

and he was reaching out for death

as a newborn reaches out for life.

 

 

 

AMBUSHED

 

Missing someone will get you

when everything settles down

when you least expect it

the heavy arm of sadness

pulls you down.

 

 

 

REMAINS

 

We throw away the nail clippings

as if they had never been a part of us. 

The same way the soul turns its back to the body

when it departs.

 

 

 

 

 

MIRAGE

 

Sometimes I have the feeling he is alive,

as if he got stuck at work

the play hadn’t started on time

they must’ve been encored

he will show up any minute now,

there he is, about to show up at the door.

 

 

 

INVISIBLE BATTLE

 

The Devil doesn’t let go of us

it fights for our souls until the very end.

In the final hours of my father’s life

an invisible battle was taking place.

The White Angel was pulling one arm,

and the Dark Angel, the other one,

while the three of us were trying

to change his wet shirt.

 

 

 

PROCESS: No diagnosis

 

Like in a multi-level video game

like looking for a hidden treasure with a secret map

like you’ve entered Kafka’s Process

just one more hallway

just one more door

just one more counter

just one more test

just one more referral

to another ward

on another floor

at another door

to another doctor

up some other stairs

for a new referral

to a new ward

for another test

and a third, a sixth, a tenth one

in another hospital

down some other hallways

hoping the answer hides right behind that door

and behind that door they’ll say you’re in the wrong place

but they won’t tell you what the right one is

and they won’t tell you that death takes you without a diagnosis

and the light you are looking for at the end of a hospital hallway

is the same light that takes us to the other side.

 

 

 

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