No Bread Crust and other Poems
Translated from Macedonian to English: Dolores Atanasova Lori
NO BREAD CRUST
When I was little I used to be a skinny child
my father would sit next to me
to make sure I would eat
two slices of bread, without the crust.
Time turns the tables
now I sit next to my father
to make sure he eats
two slices of bread, without the crust.
IN THE END (2)
In the end, what remains is the husk,
an empty open shell.
In the end words abandoned him,
he would only repeat “come on” and “give it here”
and he was reaching out for death
as a newborn reaches out for life.
AMBUSHED
Missing someone will get you
when everything settles down
when you least expect it
the heavy arm of sadness
pulls you down.
REMAINS
We throw away the nail clippings
as if they had never been a part of us.
The same way the soul turns its back to the body
when it departs.
MIRAGE
Sometimes I have the feeling he is alive,
as if he got stuck at work
the play hadn’t started on time
they must’ve been encored
he will show up any minute now,
there he is, about to show up at the door.
INVISIBLE BATTLE
The Devil doesn’t let go of us
it fights for our souls until the very end.
In the final hours of my father’s life
an invisible battle was taking place.
The White Angel was pulling one arm,
and the Dark Angel, the other one,
while the three of us were trying
to change his wet shirt.
PROCESS: No diagnosis
Like in a multi-level video game
like looking for a hidden treasure with a secret map
like you’ve entered Kafka’s Process
just one more hallway
just one more door
just one more counter
just one more test
just one more referral
to another ward
on another floor
at another door
to another doctor
up some other stairs
for a new referral
to a new ward
for another test
and a third, a sixth, a tenth one
in another hospital
down some other hallways
hoping the answer hides right behind that door
and behind that door they’ll say you’re in the wrong place
but they won’t tell you what the right one is
and they won’t tell you that death takes you without a diagnosis
and the light you are looking for at the end of a hospital hallway
is the same light that takes us to the other side.
